A degree in English: The biggest and best mistake you’ll ever make

Much has been written and said about the folly of being an English major. I have two degrees in English–some people know when to quit, and some people really, really don’t–and am thus uniquely qualified to tell you exactly how much this degree will save/ruin your life. I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

5 best things about an English degree

1.       The sinuous way words wind themselves through your work.

2.       Getting to create something at work. Even if it’s a Big Mac.

3.       The way books smell. Sigh.

4.       You know the important things in life—good friends, drinkable wine—don’t require you to be rich. Because you have no money.

5.       Learning how to communicate well has applications in pretty much every waking moment of your life. Really.

5 worst things about an English degree

1.       The ROI. My God.

2.       “What are you going to do with that, teach?”

3.       Everybody’s an expert writer. No one tells electrical engineers how to do their jobs (I hope), but everyone who passed tenth grade English has an opinion on yours.

4.       Getting e-mails that are improperly punctuated, have terrible grammar or are just plain poorly written—from people who make twice what you make.

5.       Every time you make a grammar mistake, a fairy dies.